Your Happiness, Your Success, and the Law of Attraction

 

                                                               Photo by Amy Shamblen

What have you been focusing on lately? On how well life is going for you? Or on how many businesses you've been doing compared to last year, or how well your superiors have been rating you? Or on how much your partner loves you and how much you revel in the relationship you are having? On the excellent state of your bank account? On your ever-present good health and slim and trim physique? Or on the joy, you experience each time you sit down to dinner with your teenage children? On the wonderful vacation you came back from recently and the even more exciting one you are planning for the near future? Or in a good way you feel about yourself and all the things you are creating and doing with your life?

What You Think is What You Are

I can just hear you spluttering. What kind of romantic thinking is this? Where do these ideas come from? I don't know anybody who thinks like that.

True. Most people don't think like that. In fact, most people think the exact opposite of that. Most people concentrate on all the things that are going wrong with their lives. Most people spend much of their time thinking about their problems and wondering how they are going to solve them. Most people think about all the things that could go wrong with their lives or about the people or events that stand in the way of their success. Most people think and think and think about whatever it is that worries them because they believe that that is the way to resolve the problem. The fact is that most people focus so much on what they are afraid of, or what bothers them, or what stresses them, or what they don't know how to solve, that they are giving all or most of their conscious and subconscious energy to a negative outcome the problem.

What Kind of an Outcome Do You Want?

Consider this: the more you give your energy to one thing, the more that thing has a possibility of coming into being. If you concentrate on getting a university degree, you will most likely achieve that goal. If you concentrate on writing a book, you will again probably achieve that goal. But what happens if you continually tell yourself, while you are concentrating on getting the degree, that you are not intelligent enough to pass the exams, or that you simply are incapable of understanding the course material? And what happens, if you continually tell yourself while you are concentrating on writing the book, that you will never be able to write well, or that your story is not good enough? Obviously, you are not only undermining yourself and sabotaging your desired outcomes, but you may also be creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I wanna know more about it.

Focus and Intention

So what can you do? Let's assume you are convinced that you lack the intelligence to pass the exams. Or that you are convinced that you will never write well. You have a goal, and that goal is to get a degree or to write a book. In order to focus on that goal, your mission is to ensure that your thoughts are aligned with or intentionally focused on – that goal. Therefore, whenever your thoughts stray from the goal into negative territory, you need to pull them back into the arena of positive results.

Goals and Fears

But focusing on the desired goal is very hard for a very simple reason: we are far too used to focusing on the fears surrounding the goal (I am so afraid I will never have a great relationship, rather than imagining in your mind's eye the great relationship in the way you want it to be; or how will I ever get that promotion rather than imagining in your mind's eye the way you will feel when you do get the hoped-for promotion).

How to Focus

So how do you focus? When you worry, and your mind goes around and around a problem, or some stress in your life, you are very focused on the problem. It is exactly at that moment that you need to re-focus and see your desired goal or outcome in your mind's eye, rather than all the problems you associate with it. The more time you spend on whatever it is you want to have in your life whether this is a material goal, a professional goal, a relational goal, or whatever makes absolutely no difference, the more you will be in a position to achieve it, to attract it into your life. The more you think and focus on that goal in a positive way, the more you allow yourself to “feel” the way you would feel if you already had the results, the more likely it is that you will attain your desired outcome. This is the Law of Attraction.

Intentionally Re-focus on the Positive

Remember: the time you spend worrying about the desired outcome is time spent focusing on the opposite of what you want, so become very aware of all your thoughts and focus them in the right direction. Do this consistently each time you catch yourself thinking the negative version of your goals until intentionally re-focusing on the positive becomes second nature. This habit is like strengthening a muscle, if you do it every day, it will happen more and more frequently and naturally, and soon you will find that not only do the majority of your thoughts and feelings focus on the positive direction of your goals but that those positive goals become part of your reality.

As A Man Thinketh

Make time to read a complimentary copy of the e-book version of James Allen's classic As A Man Thinketh by signing up for my free monthly e-zine and begin to understand how your thoughts and your feelings contribute in immeasurable ways to the fulfillment of your goals and dreams. How they create the very fabric of your life. And how you by taking charge of your thoughts and feelings, and by focusing with clear intention can make a very different life than the one you may currently have.

Get your FREE course here.

What Does It Mean To Be Yourself?

In a society driven by image and success, learning how to be yourself is one of the most difficult things you'll ever do. Sharing personal challenges and insights from her book "Illusion," Carly Sotas explores how the fear of not being good enough prevents us from making an impact and achieving our dreams.

Carly Sotas is the author of Illusion, a non-fiction book that explores questions of identity, happiness, and success. As a teenager, Carly read magazines for advice on how to be successful and confident but was left feeling discouraged and inadequate, because the lifestyle presented seemed unattainable. Motivated by a desire to start a more relatable and authentic conversation, Carly wrote Illusion, sharing her struggles in hopes of letting other young people know that they are not alone in the challenges they face and in their desire to pursue their dreams. With a passion for youth development and education, Carly serves as the co-program director of Vancouver’s Heart of the City Piano Program, a music education program that provides accessible music lessons to underserved youth. She is also the co-founder of the Pencils of Promise chapter at The University of British Columbia, the global education organization to which she is donating the proceeds from Illusion.

The Prosperity In Forgiveness

 

I have found myself inspired to write on this topic on more than one occasion…. All of us, at some point in our lives, have felt the desperate inner turmoil and confusion that comes from feeling that we have been “wronged” or betrayed in some way. You fight to understand what is wrong with a person to have done such a thing or to be such away. You wonder what may be wrong with you. Have I deserved such treatment? Am I just completely nave? I am too trusting. I have loved too deeply, and now I am paying for it. The list of inner chatter goes on and on as we try to make sense of our lives.

Maybe the lack of forgiving perse is not your issue maybe its that you have forgiven time and time again, only to continually set yourself up for victimization. Your sense of self-esteem, your sense of trust in yourself, your personal power have been chipped away bit by bit.

As you well know, the consequences of that inner turmoil run quite deep. On one end of the spectrum, your life can become filled with resentment and anger. You may begin to withhold your true self from your family and friends as a basic survival instinct, keeping yourself safe becomes a priority. On the other end of the spectrum- you may sense the undercurrent of hurt only arises at times but none the less is like a rock under the carpet of your life waiting to be tripped over and always unsettling.

Forgiveness whether it be forgiving yourself or others is a major piece of the puzzle as we look at the elements necessary to create a prosperous and abundant life. It is too often overlooked like one of the blocks to your success. Why? Because we think that our feelings are justified when a wrong has been done to you. When we are justified, nothing needs changing right? You SHOULD feel this way. Maybe, if you want to keep your level of abundance and prosperity exactly where it is at.

Let me say that again nothing needs changing and forgiveness doesn’t need to happen – If you are happy with how you feel inside. Nothing needs changing IF you are pleased with the amount of personal and financial abundance you presently experience. Nothing needs changing IF you feel that you are completely free.

What I want to make clear in this discussion is that, yes, you certainly are “justified” in feeling the way you do always whether we are talking about forgiveness or any other issue. Your feelings are always valid. They are always your experience. They are always right, and you have the right to choose how you will feel. You are at choice, and your choices work for you they protect you. I am not here to tell you that your feelings are wrong.

BUT it is important to acknowledge that you have the power to choose your feelings…and if they resonate in a way that is not alignment with your highest good – and what you want for your life…(abundance and prosperity on all levels) – then you get to choose something different!

So, as it relates to your sense or experience of prosperity forgiveness is a must. If you do not choose forgiveness, you may be choosing the lack of it, which translates into anger, resentment, fear, frustration, etc. These emotions are not in alignment with the energy and emotion of abundance…which is love.

The consequences of that state mostly hurt you. Anger, inability to trust others, an inappropriate setting of boundaries, perceived sense of righteousness, development of extreme or high expectations of self or others, inability to move toward intimacy, pain, hurt, anxiety, depression, and fear again just to name a few. Simply put, all of these feelings are state's negativity, which resonate with a scarcity consciousness.

What I know to be true, is that our outer world is a direct reflection of our inner world. If you feel and live in a state of prosperity consciousness and love, your outer world will be an expression of many riches….not only financial but your sense of peace and happiness, the state of your relationships, your health. If you live in scarcity consciousness, fear, and lack and negativity that is what will manifest in your outer world.

If you come from a place of prosperity consciousness, which is all about love, feeling good, bliss, appreciation, and connection to your higher self, you will begin to attract more prosperity than you ever thought possible.

How can you be connected – truly connected – if you haven’t forgiven yourself for your mistakes, forgiven your friends and family for theirs?

How has scarcity manifested in your own life? Can you identify areas in your life that lack forgiveness or that carry the undercurrent of negativity and jam up your flow of prosperity?

Here is the hard part. HOW do I forgive? Although each person is different here is a basic recipe for forgiveness. And by that, I mean true forgiveness not the kind of forgiveness that you just pretend that you have forgiven! It’s a true shift.

8 Principles of Forgiving

1. Know that forgiveness is a choice and even skill. You weren't born unforgiving and you shouldn't beat yourself up about where you are in your ability to forgive at this point. Be good to yourself and honor where you are.

2. Start with a forgiveness inventory. Have you ever gone through the process of consciously forgiving? What worked for you? What didn't? Ask yourself what you get out of keeping the pain, hurt, or anger. Like it or not, there is a payoff. (safety, be right, etc!)

3. Become very clear about the fact that forgiveness is about moving from fear (scarcity consciousness) to love (prosperity consciousness). What do you think fear, anger, and resentment can accomplish? (not much) What do you think love can accomplish? (anything!!) How does this resonate within you? What choice are you going to make about this?

4. Accept the fact that you can not change others only yourself. Within that, accept that you can change yourself at any moment's time. Its called a “shift”. Practice shifting into love and away from fear, resentment, and negativity. Note that when you practice or pretend it becomes easier in real life after awhile.

5. Know that forgiveness is not about minimizing your pain or other actions or staying in a situation that does not honor YOU. For example, an abusive job or relationship that does heal or evolve. It's about a conscious choice to let go for you and your highest good or the highest good of all. Its the absence of resentment, anger, blame, and judgment. It’s the choice release and makes choices that are in alignment with the peace and prosperity that you want to create. It’s about freeing yourself…and opening possibilities – whether it be in your finances, your relationships, or health.

6. Release it. Design a forgiveness ritual one that feels good to you. Burn a candle. Write unsent letters. Vent in writing, and literally put your feelings on the page. You are in charge of how much you will let yourself spin and vent. Keep the perspective here. Know that what you focus on grows, so don’t spend to much time on the negativity of it all then move forward in “lightness” and love. Choose a better thought – such as, I choose to release and forgive, I choose to put myself first, I choose to honor myself. If you think you have forgiven and you still feel resentment, then you have not forgiven. Ask yourself, am I willing to release this? When? (perhaps now?) Keep asking and keep releasing.

7. Know that you can not heal your own pain by refusing to forgive others. Honor yourself by starting to forgive and let go. It's good for your body and soul. Carolyn Myss says, “Your biography becomes biology…” Come to understand that most of the time people are not out to intentionally hurt you – but it is usually about their own fears, issues, and pain when actions are taken and offenses made. You don’t need to hold onto their wrongdoings – or have it eventually become your own biology…ouch, not worth it!

8. See people for the perfect souls they are…souls that were created from the source of love and all that is. I ask you….would it be hard to forgive the source of all love, the love that we all are? Nope. If you choose to be in this soft space, forgiveness becomes much easier.

Choosing forgiveness is the first step. You need not rush the process, for learning how to forgive, and using that in your life is key prosperity, peace, and spiritual growth.

The 13 Truths